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Little known fact: So when I found myself back in LA after a long hiatus, it was a bit of a homecoming. I looked forward to perpetually sunny climes, rollerblading on the boardwalk, and the general openness of the people. However, the quality of my love life was worse than it had been in any other city. For the first two years, I just assumed I had suddenly gotten ugly and stupid.
Then I heard multitudes of other people voicing similar experiences. Anthropologists have noticed a statistic that correlates nicely with the social and sexual permissiveness of a population. In places where the sex ratio is low i. Where the sex ratio is high i. No one knows exactly why this is, but it makes sense.
This correlation tracks in large populations e. According to the latest singles map from the US Census, New York has a , surplus of single women over single men, while LA has 89, more single men than women. This statistic alone may be the single biggest cause of the lackluster love lives of singles in LA. Yet, it is totally unreasonable by human terms. And so the activation energy of meeting someone not nearby goes up. Physics tells us that the higher the activation energy, the less frequent the event.
So people become less likely to meet to get to know one another casually. Contrast this with New York City. Even though the times required to get around in NYC are comparable, the perceived effort of taking the subway or hopping in a cab is much less than driving yourself through snarls of traffic. Hence people there are much more willing to go places and meet up. This casual, unforced, unpremeditated contact is the cornerstone of building social relations.
That casual contact is missing in LA, because we spend a lot of time in our wheeled steel cages. The higher energy required for making a date means that it happens less often. Traffic in LA is unpredictable; as a result, even the best-intentioned people end up being late more often than they wish. Showing up late, not showing up at all and breaking promises can then become the norm. When that happens enough times to enough people, you end up in a legendarily flaky city, and social and dating life encounter more obstacles.
A lot of people come to LA to make it in the entertainment industry, which is a fleeting, fickle creature. Is it too farfetched to see that fickleness permeating all the way down to the participants in that industry and their social bonds? A peculiar energy permeates a town when so many people are trying to advance an ego-based agenda — my role, my song, my script — which may not be the most conducive energy for building meaningful, lasting relationships. Bringing us to….
Dating people in the entertainment industry is fraught with unique challenges. Nightlife shuts down at 1am and you have to drive your own butt home afterwards. Last call being 2am in Los Angeles, most establishments start kicking you out at 1am. So just when things have started to get interesting, the party shuts down. In cities like Berlin, New York, London, Barcelona and Paris, people often start going out at 1am, and the social life is correspondingly more raucous. Lack of public transport also means that people stay sober enough to drive back home.
As a result, the social lubricant effects of alcohol don't operate in the same way as in a city with public transport. This, plus the other six aforementioned factors, may very well make LA the toughest big city in the US to be single in. I've found that the best way to overcome these challenges is to carve out a smaller, more local niche of friends based on shared interests and to cultivate that group with intimate events like book clubs, mixers, dinner parties and game nights.
How have you managed to create a lively community of friends in spite of tough odds? Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. According to the Singles Map, the sex ratio in LA sucks. Lack of pedestrian culture reduces opportunities for casual contact. Transportation challenges make even the best-intentioned people flaky.
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You can upload photos by clicking on the images tab. You can fill out your additional data on right side of your profile by clicking on it and answering the questions. However, your BMI, zodiac and chinese zodiac is calculated based on your data. Does Free Online Dating exists? Username or email Password Forgot your password? Free dating even to the real life rendezvous. Join Loving Singles! Help Welcome to Loving Singles You can change your primary data age, location, etc by clicking the text below your name. You can change who you look for by clicking on the relevant text. Fill out your self-introduction to make your profile more interesting.
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