Dating a younger woman in college
However cool it makes you is exactly how lame it makes him. You might feel like Joan Jett when he picks you up in his Seville outside the high school in front of all your friends, but he is being mercilessly mocked by all of the women in his life for dating a year-old. If you're an inexperienced drinker who feels it after 2 bottles of Mike's Hard, that benefits him , not you. Among the biggest reasons that he likes you is because you're young. Yes, he might be into you because you like the same bands and you act "mature for your age. But mostly, it's the fact that he's your first.
The Truth About Dating Older or Younger Guys
This is Part I of a 2-part series on dating younger women. In Part I, we'll be focused on social factors that have changed and why there's so much pushback against older men dating younger women in the West. Part II will be our "how-to" - that is, how to date younger women as an older or younger man. There's something of a stigma in the West right now against older men and younger women while younger men and older women is often considered right as rain - and maybe even ideal!
Throughout history, it's been common for older men to select younger women as their brides, across cultures, nearly universally. It would appear we live in a strange and rather unusual period in history, where sexual norms have been turned upside down and positioned on their heads. But look a little closer, and you'll see that even in the West - even in the United States, bastion of feminist sentiment right now - steer clear of unattractive women with bones to pick, and you'll quickly find that - at least among pretty younger women - this "stigma" against older men dating younger women is primarily the figment of a small group of the media's imagination.
Let's sweep aside the deliberate confusion of the rabble-rousers and have look at what actually goes on out there in the real world of older men and the younger women they date. I sat at a bar in San Diego, eating lunch with a colleague of mine and our supervisor, a Navy captain the rank just below admiral in the U. The CAPT was 59 years old, but about as charismatic a guy as you'd ever meet. At the time, my charisma was good - it was early - but I still had some work to do, and I was maybe half as smooth with women then as I am now.
Our barmaid - a pretty blonde who looked about 25 or 26, my age at the time - served us our lunch, and the CAPT and I took turns flirting with her. To my surprise, while I did well with her, he did better - and it was genuine I'd flirted and picked up enough hired guns at that point to be able to tell the difference. Still, reactions vs. A few months later, the CAPT and that same colleague traveled to Pennsylvania for a conference, and the colleague reported how at dinner on our last night in town, he'd watched CAPT mesmerize an attractive, buxom waitress in her mids, who, at the end of the dinner, slipped him her phone number and told him to get in touch the next time he was in town.
Aren't older men who like younger women " dirty " - not " cool " and " attractive "? The same friend of mine I had the debate about how much looks matter with a little while back also did his darnedest to convince me that after about 40 years old or so, all hope of ever landing women under 30 was extinguished. Better be happy with older gals Only, it doesn't hold its water. There ARE plenty of older men who successfully date younger women.
Though it's ALSO true that the majority don't. The majority stick to women in their age range, either by choice What the people pushing the "older men CAN'T get younger women If you're reading this site though, I think it's safe to assume you're not terribly concerned with what the average man is doing, and are more interested in the anomalous men Well, it's true; when it comes to a man's age, there is a big difference in what women look for and consider attractive. Younger men are unproven , and are expected to be unproven.
Thus, a younger man succeeds with women by advertising his potential to be a success. The younger men who do best with women are the ones who exude ambition, confidence, energy, and signs of potential future achievement. Older men are proven , and are expected to be proven. Thus, an older man succeeds with women by advertising his already achieved success. The older men who do best with women are the ones who exude authority, confidence, power, and signs of secured achievement.
We'll explore this a lot more in-depth in our second part of this series, "Attracting and Dating Younger Women. The fact is, most older men are ordinary: It means, in fact, that these ordinary older men are worse choices for younger women than younger men are. Meanwhile, an older man who's ordinary is never going to be anything more than ordinary. And because most older guys are ordinary - and therefore undesirable - just like nice guys who don't know their places, they're liable to raise women's instinctive "disgust" instinct - a protective instinct to avoid mating with perceived lower quality mates - and be labeled " creepy " The women in these couples aren't horribly ugly.
In fact, the ones I meet are relatively to quite attractive. Neither are the men loaded with wads of cash, used to ensnare shark-like women who only want them for their trust funds. Rather, many of the older men with younger girlfriends and wives I've met have been relatively normal guys with more or less normal jobs. They were, in other words, successes , as success is judged by women.
This was true with all the couples except for the gold digger couples and I have met some ; often in these cases, the mothers wholeheartedly endorsed the union, because that was what the mother had trained the daughter to do "Find a rich man to marry - older men are more likely to be rich, and more likely to be looking to settle down - so find an older, rich man and marry him".
There is the financial element, of course - older men have more money especially important in Africa, where a very large percentage of sexual relationships involve men paying women for sex. And there's a fear by women of their sexual relationships being discovered mostly true of ALL of a woman's sexual relationships, outside of relatively committed boyfriend-girlfriend pairings.
In other words, it's not especially different from the relationship between younger men and younger women It certainly wasn't always this way. In fact, until the s or so, age in dating was treated pretty much the same in the West as it was everywhere else in the world. An American father in the s would've been thrilled to have his daughter marry an older man with a stable, established life and career path, rather than some unproven young scoundrel who might turn out well or might drag his daughter to the poorhouse.
My maternal grandfather had 10 years on my maternal grandmother when they married, and no one thought anything of it. The age at first marriage for men and women was separated by 4 years then, and throughout much of American history - the average wedding was between of a man four years older than his bride - and if that's the average, you know that means there were plenty more marriages where the two were closer in age, and plenty more where they were farther, as well.
But something strange and anomalous happened in the West that caused a rise in voices complaining about people's dating preferences , and demanding that people STOP dating the people they're dating and date other instead people because that's what the voices think is "best". It became one of those ill-fated endeavors destined to fail you can't fight nature and win, and you can't change people's dating preferences by shouting at them , but certain to annoy many people before it did.
The source of this boondoggle? Changing social and media pressure instructing women to value themselves differently. In the mids, a small group of radical feminists began denigrating women who stayed at home to take care of their families, calling these women "oppressed" and "victims", and elevated "employment" as the TRUE height of female achievement. If only women could make money, then they would then have true happiness.
A cultural shift ensued in the West, where women were instructed more and more by social and media forces as they grew up that their true worth was in their profession, and nowhere else. Today, women are often embarrassed to admit to being stay-at-home moms. The cultural stigma is that women raising children are "lazy" or "oppressed" or "dependent. Subsequently, women's happiness has dramatically declined , as women toiled away in the jobs that men built for themselves to make money to win and impress women, and women's ideas about mating began to shift to that of men's: I'm telling you this as someone who exclusively dates professional women with advanced degrees, mind you; I don't think it's a bad thing.
I'm explaining why norms have changed. In just a few decades, the workplace transition in the West had transformed many women's mating habits into men's:. Male-Female Differences. In only 20 years, the dating market had shifted from successful men chasing beautiful women and beautiful women chasing successful men, to What men had to offer and were looking for, and what women had to offer and were looking for, now no longer lined up.
And so, the media glorification of financially successful women snagging pretty young men and media excoriation of financially successful men dating pretty young women began, speaking to the new mating preferences of Western woman: Many women had turned into men, preference-wise and lifestyle-wise. But men kept pursuing the women who still focused on being what men wanted, and ignoring the women whose main accomplishment was their careers Suddenly, there were lots of women unable to parlay their career success into dating success - but rather than point the finger at the media forces that had misled them and told them to focus on the wrong thing all their lives, they pointed their fingers at men and angrily and futilely demanded that men stop competing for the shrinking selection of women who spent more time on feminine pursuits than masculine ones, and pay attention to them instead.
Older men were a part of the "problem" - elbow to elbow with younger men, all competing for a smaller pool of young, feminine women, while the older career women looked on aghast, wondering what became of the pot of life gold they were promised at the end of the career rainbow. A lot of girls - even many of those who built great careers - still saw themselves as "girls," and had little interest in being "men. The media had fooled some, but not all, and the world hasn't really changed as much as you might think.
It sounds like it has, because those with agendas to push always chase down soapboxes to harp from. But the ordinary folk - people out on the streets - a lot of them never bought it quite as thoroughly as those disillusioned souls writing books and appearing on talk shows did, trying desperately to write and talk and shame the world into being the way they want and need it to be to validate their choices. In " Conflict Between Men and Women in the 21st Century ", I discussed my opinion that most of the so-called "conflict" between men and women you see these days is manufactured by the media and the anonymity and disproportionate preaching power of the Internet.
You can do or say whatever you want online, and it's easy to feel like there are zero consequences. Also, because the Internet is an echo chamber, you never have to hear opposing views if you don't want to, and it's easy to get more and more impassioned as you write some long-winded statement in the comments section for or against something, without anyone ever interjecting to correct you or remind you that this isn't really what we're talking about here.
A little unusual, sometimes But the woman is never some bimbo with a double-digit IQ. The man is never some scumbag who's bordering on pedophilia. Usually it's a year-old gal with a year-old guy, or something similar to that. The girl's got a decent career, but looking forward to being a mother and having a family. The guy's more established in his career, but he's not an oil baron or anything. He's just a solid, cool, charming older guy. I never hear anyone malign them. I've never seen a fat angry woman walk up to the man and say, "You should date someone your own age!
You could have a better career and be dating a 19 year old with washboard abs! All I ever really here is, "They seem like a nice couple. Point is, when you're out living your life in the real world, there is none of this gossip-y shaming. Partly that's because people won't dare to say in-person the things they say on the Internet. I call it being "Internet brave. But part of it is also the objectifying, virtualizing effect of the web. When someone's upset about older men and younger women online, it isn't that nice couple from a few doors down she's thinking about I've seen it surprisingly often in the U.
Actually, if anything, they seem healthier and more confident than the majority of couples I see. They're often closer together. I think both partners get off on it Wait 'til they get a load of the guy I've netted!
I never thought I'd date someone who is significantly younger than I am. might have been in seventh grade when I was a freshman in college. The “older guy dating younger girl” phenomenon is nothing new (hello, Hugh Hefner). But you may be wondering, why do these guys seem so.
Our generation has been the guinea pigs of modern dating. While younger men have roommates in rented apartments, older men may own their own homes. They are established homeowners who are living in a place that is welcoming to a partner.
In college I studied Computer Science and forgot how to talk to women. As the only straight woman within reach, I soon became the de facto dating consultant for my male friends, despite my waning expertise.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter! How to attract younger women?
Undressed: What’s the Deal With the Age Gap in Relationships?
When I was younger I got my heart broken by an older woman. No matter what I said, or what nice things I did for Karen, she was out of my league since I was younger. Karen was a 17 year old junior, and I was an incredibly good looking and intelligent 16 year old. This is exactly what my mom told me every time I brought her cupcakes. The rejection was devastating until a bright light named Stephanie joined my high school as a freshman. In fact, Stephanie was even more beautiful than her older sister, and I just had to pursue.
17 Harsh Truths About The Older Boyfriend
This is Part I of a 2-part series on dating younger women. In Part I, we'll be focused on social factors that have changed and why there's so much pushback against older men dating younger women in the West. Part II will be our "how-to" - that is, how to date younger women as an older or younger man. There's something of a stigma in the West right now against older men and younger women while younger men and older women is often considered right as rain - and maybe even ideal! Throughout history, it's been common for older men to select younger women as their brides, across cultures, nearly universally. It would appear we live in a strange and rather unusual period in history, where sexual norms have been turned upside down and positioned on their heads. But look a little closer, and you'll see that even in the West - even in the United States, bastion of feminist sentiment right now - steer clear of unattractive women with bones to pick, and you'll quickly find that - at least among pretty younger women - this "stigma" against older men dating younger women is primarily the figment of a small group of the media's imagination. Let's sweep aside the deliberate confusion of the rabble-rousers and have look at what actually goes on out there in the real world of older men and the younger women they date.
The real rules about how old and young you can date. According to this rule, society should accept a 50 year old man dating a 32 year old woman.
People tend to default to partners in their general age range—hey, in high school and college, when dating life begins, that's what you're used to. But some guys later in life show a marked preference for younger women, and they get a lot of crap about it. Research, however, seems to show men who prefer a younger partner are onto something. A report in goes into age gaps and the different attitudes men and women have toward them.
17 Harsh Truths About The Older Boyfriend
Which means a few great things: Yes, post-college guys wear suits! And have money to take you out to dinner! And are mature enough to talk about things other than chugging Bud Light in their frat houses well, hopefully! But should you be wary if a guy in his mid-to-late twenties or thirties approaches you at a bar? But you may be wondering, why do these guys seem so interested in us? Well, as it turns out, college girls are pretty appealing to older guys. Here are some of the reasons they like going for younger girls:. To older guys, college girls mean one thing: Complete with capital letters. Kevin, 23, spells it out:
How To Attract Younger Women
For the college boyfriend is too many take. Older man looking for him in college freshman? And every older man has game site. Princeton, but you're an attractive college girl and freshmen-to-be, but every older guys who've tried more a. Seen too young girls are primarily obsessively? Not violating any young girl dating an year-old girl 1. Rich woman younger guy should live by s.
My girlfriend is five years technically four and a half younger than I am. In the past, I generally went for women who were my age or older, as they gave off the impression that they were more stable and mature, but after a few failed attempts at digging into chicks who were pushing 30, I realized maybe I should start robbing the cradle. Sure, she might have been in seventh grade when I was a freshman in college, but I wanted to see what it was like. After she met all of the rigorous criteria I put all of my potential partners through—funny, attractive, self-deprecating, is a brunette, likes Billy Joel—we made it official. I thought I had all of my bases covered. Apparently I was wrong.
Need Help? United States. Results 1 to 24 of What are the pros and cons of dating a younger girl? I'm 23, she's
But the heart wants what the heart wants, and at some point in your life, you might find yourself with a partner who is significantly older or younger than you. Nothing is guaranteed obviously, and a relationship is more about compatibility than a birthday. But as long as you can be open about your issues with the relationship, it should all end happily ever after maybe. But depending on your own social habits, hearing people say or worse, hearing that they told someone else something negative about your relationship can wear a person down. Find your inner Madonna and come up with a good comeback to use on the fly with rude people and ways to stay secure in your new fling. You need to be really clear about your goals — both professional and personal — and hash it out with them.WHAT ATTRACTS YOUNGER WOMEN TO OLDER MEN @LayanBubbly