Why did my husband join a dating site

I have been with my husband for 12 years, and married for almost I am 34 and we have two kids. A few months after my second one was born, I happened upon a dating site left open on my husband's laptop. He had not only created a profile but also corresponded with several women looking to have an intimate fling. It's a pay for dating kind of site.

When your Spouse has Signed up with Dating Websites

I have been with my husband for 12 years, and married for almost I am 34 and we have two kids. A few months after my second one was born, I happened upon a dating site left open on my husband's laptop. He had not only created a profile but also corresponded with several women looking to have an intimate fling. It's a pay for dating kind of site. We have had several things going on in our life. He is finishing up his studies. We recently relocated to a new state to be closer to my family.

We have never had a great sex life because of issues on both sides. It's something we have both tried to work on, off and on. I feel the issues are more on his side though physically mostly. It frustrated me terribly in the beginning, but I learned to live with it because I thought everything else was perfect. He was thoughtful, helpful, always remembered anniversaries, and always had something special planned.

We are great friends, I admired and respected him, and I trusted him completely. When I confronted him about the website, I found out that he had been doing it for six months from the time my second daughter was a month old. He said he never intended for it to go anywhere, though he did meet one of the women once. But I don't know how much to believe him.

When I first found out, I asked him to not touch anything on his profile until I had time to think about it. And when I finally decided a couple of days later that I needed to go through the site and find out the extent of his betrayal, I found that he had changed some things to tone down what he had done. That eroded my trust further because he had promised he wouldn't change anything on the site. Now I don't think I can believe anything he says. I don't know what to do. He is a good father.

He says he will never do it again. But my trust is lost. I don't know if I can leave him. I don't want my kids to grow up in a broken family, and I am certain I don't want to remarry or have any other men in my life. I have always been against marriage and felt that it was only because my husband was so exceptional that it made sense my father abandoned us when we were kids. A divorce would also cause a lot of heartache in both our families we are from a country where this is not common.

Is this a big deal or is it a deal breaker? I don't really have anyone to talk to. I don't want to tell my family because I am afraid they will stop respecting him. I have asked him to come clean with his parents because it would make me feel like it's a sign of being truly repentant. I am not religious. It's been two months since I found out and he hasn't done it yet. He is seeing a psychiatrist and telling her his life story so that's more a shoulder to whine and cry on than someone who will hold him accountable for what he did.

Shall we live together and find a way to make this bearable or should I move on? Am I right in insisting that he tell his parents or at least someone who will hold him accountable? He has lost that chance with me since I already found out on my own. What should I do to make this situation livable? I'm not convinced that things will get any better if he tells his parents, LFA. Sure, you'll get some temporary pleasure from watching someone else get mad at him, but then what?

Don't assume that he'll learn a lesson by confessing. Don't assume that his parents can shame him into being a better guy. I want you to talk to your inner circle about all of this because you both need support. Forget the redemption and punishment stuff for a bit and focus on getting help from the people who love you. And please, let's not assume that the psychiatrist is just sitting around and validating him.

That's not how it's supposed to go. Tell him that you want to join him at these sessions. And please, see a therapist on your own. Therapy is a good thing. I wish I could tell you whether to stick it out, but I just don't know enough about what's happening in his head. All I can say is that you have to find people to lean on.

You moved closer to your family for a reason. This is no time for isolation. Also know this: Broken families are bad, but so are tense, resentful families who stay together without love and trust. You need to figure out what will make you a happy parent. That's the most important thing. Find help and start asking questions. Thoughts on her telling her community and him telling his parents? What about their sex life? And the online dating? Can a couple move beyond this kind of betrayal?

Previous Letter Thursday August 2, Share Tweet Tumbl. Hi Meredith, I have been with my husband for 12 years, and married for almost Loading Comments Want Meredith's Advice? Submit a letter. Reader Favorites. All Fields Are Required. Don't have an account? Register at Boston.

I happened upon a dating site left open on my husband's laptop. He had not only created a profile but also corresponded with several women. Having a dating site profile online and being active on it is beyond relationship, being that my partner at the time was on dating websites throughout the whole relationship. . until i caught my husband cheating on me thankfully my friend gave me a We had what I thought was a an amazing relationship.

But, I was thrilled by the ultimatum given to the company by the hackers, because offering escapades to a married person having marriage trouble is like offering booze to an alcoholic. Some smart men got scared; good! This article is not to proselytize , but to save marriages.

Miguel Cavazos is a photographer and fitness trainer in Los Angeles who began writing in

Discovering that your husband is visiting online dating sites can be an emotionally devastating experience. Although such behavior constitutes a betrayal and many wives consider this a form of adultery, if you and your husband can communicate your physical and emotional needs to each other, it may be possible to fix your marriage. When trying to fix your marriage, speak to your husband about the issues that led him to visit online dating sites.

I found my husband on an online dating site

The voice of the well-spoken fortysomething businessman and father-of-three cracked over the phone as he explained how his wife had betrayed him. It was not an envelope stuffed with grainy photos of some seedy tryst. Instead, he had the very modern and very real equivalent: Their marriage was the latest victim of what I now describe as Generation Swipe. In the past six months, our department has seen an almost 50 per cent increase in enquiries triggered by married people who have caught their spouses browsing dating apps such as Tinder. Glancing over at the tablet, he saw a picture of an attractive man — and on closer inspection he realised that it was a profile on a dating app.

When You Catch Your Partner in an Online Dating Site

My husband is many years older than me. We have an eight-year-old daughter. When I met my husband, I knew that he was active on online dating sites and was chatting with numerous girls. But he promised he would stop once we got married. I was OK with that. But one year into our marriage, I realised he was even more actively chatting with girls and sharing pictures. When I found out and confronted him about it, he said he was just chatting and not meeting these women personally, so why was I making a big fuss. I told him I would not tolerate that, and he again promised to stop. All was well until recently, when I found out he has been at it again. Now, he is telling these women that he has a baby girl whom he loves very much but that he is separated from his wife.

Dating sites over the internet has added a whole new dimension to personal relationships.

The only problem is that you recently found out that throughout your whole relationship your partner has been on dating websites, swiping here, liking there, favoriting here, and emailing here and there with other people of the opposite sex. This is a very tough predicament for both people in the relationship. The fact of the matter is that the reason is irrelevant. When someone is in an exclusive relationship, it goes without saying that being in an online dating website or app is wrong, and inappropriate.

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