Pros and cons of dating an ex convict

There are men and women locked up that want to walk the walk with you, people ready to commit and contribute to your life. Some want other things though, temporary situations with exclusive benefits to them. How to find the right one? While patience, perseverance, transparency and good communication are great, here are a dozen additional points to consider. Good luck and be careful! Why go this route?

What are the pros and cons of dating an ex-con?

Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Our prisons seem to be less concerned with such goals as "preventing crime" or "fixing criminals" and more with "punishing those sumbitches like a naughty schoolgirl in a titty-flick. They told us that once you've been in jail Wayne wasn't able to turn a single light on or off during his time in prison, so once he got out, switches suddenly fascinated him.

In his bedroom, he'd sit by the lamp and keep hitting the button, alternating between light and dark and reveling in his newfound power. He also hadn't seen carpet throughout his time inside, so he now kicked off his shoes and walked back and forth over it, the strange fuzz wonderful to his bare feet. Wisconsin Department of Corrections Step on the fuzz in prison, and you get thrown in solitary. Even better than soft carpet on your toes is soft tissue on your ass, as Chris found during his reunion with non-prison bathrooms.

Plus, proper bathrooms offer another luxury: In prison, the inmates improvised toilet barriers using sheets stuck to the wall with hardened toothpaste; this didn't work too well and never blocked the stink. Now, Chris loves pooping in solitude so much that he refuses to enter any public restroom. It's a principle thing. But such glorious decadence isn't always a pleasure.

In prison, Chris slept on a mattress just one inch thick. It was almost like sleeping on concrete. Once he was out, he returned to a huge, springy bed -- and found he couldn't fall asleep. So he slipped off and went to sleep on the ground, which seemed more comfortable to him. He repeated this, night after night, right up until he started dating. When applying for jobs "Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Especially because if you answer yes, you may as well fold the application into an airplane and launch it into the furnace.

Chris has been turned down from a bunch of jobs because of the restriction against felons. Same story with Wayne, who finally had to turn to family connections to get him menial work in the back of a shop. Finding a place to live can be similarly hard: Lease includes firearm and mandatory gang affiliation. An increasingly popular campaign is attacking these restrictions, and others are petitioning to get the White House involved.

Wayne has experience as a military communications specialist. Coming out of prison, the only job he could get was cleaning toilets. Prisoners have TV. They follow the news along with soap operas and wrestling -- there are just so many episodes , so it's a great way to pass time. They learn about the world through a screen instead of firsthand, but hey, so do you.

Still, some changes have to be seen to be believed. Wayne wasn't in jail that long and dutifully maintained a Wired subscription while inside, but he still walked out thinking razor-thin flip-phones were technological marvels. Then someone plopped an iPhone in his lap, and that was the end of that idea. With Chris, he basically missed the '90s, so he walked out to learn cassettes still popular in prison had vanished from the civilized world. Plus, there was something called the Internet around.

And other innovations, which you probably don't even think about: It was now possible to pay for your gas right at the pump. The fuuutuuuure! Last year, at age 40, Chris was legally allowed to vote for the first time. That's kind of weird for someone born and raised in the United States. But Chris went into prison in Virginia at 18, then came out to find you can't vote as an ex-con.

Then in , he moved to New York, where the law's different. These rules are arbitrary and vary from state to state. In Virginia, some felons can apply to get their vote back ; in Florida and Iowa, all felons lose the vote permanently; in Maine, no criminals lose the vote, and they can even vote while still in jail. These restrictions first popped up back in the s and '70s. This was a time when the country was deciding how to handle 4 million newly freed slaves, and when the 15th Amendment gave them the vote men, at least , legislators suggested taking it right back by denying the vote to felons, since ex-slaves kept being arrested for bullshit reasons.

Today, the restriction keeps more than one in eight black men from voting nationwide one in five black adults, in some states. They block 6 million people total, enough to change a whole lot of elections , including the control of the Senate throughout the '90s and definitely the presidential race. There are campaigns to fix these bans, including a bill in the House. Georgia State Board of Pardons and Paroles. The [parole officer] can show up at your place of employment, drug test you whenever they want, search your home and vehicles without a warrant.

It is horrible. Paul Kitagaki Jr. Wayne recalls his year-and-a-half on parole as a series of bullshit forms he had to submit, letting authorities know about every mile he drove and every dollar he spent. He wore a drug-testing patch on his arm; this spat out a false positive when he had to take meds for a kidney stone. Think about that. But maybe the weirdest part was the total ban on drinking alcohol. Alcohol is legal, he'd never had any kind of drinking problem, and his offenses hadn't involved alcohol in any way -- but the rules still said no liquor.

People are usually surprised when they learn that Wayne's an ex-con, but most aren't judgmental. Maybe that's because he was in for drugs, and people are gradually realizing drug laws are stupid. Still, most don't care at all: Wayne's grandmother came to visit recently, bearing an heirloom rifle as a gift.

As a felon, Wayne couldn't accept the gun he's a non-violent felon, but that's the law , but the news didn't shake grandma. She just said, "I don't care what he did in the past, as long as he's not in trouble now. No law against that The longer you spend in prison, the harder it is to get back to normal. Chris says the TV show Rectify is really good at showing how socially awkward prisoners are in the real world.

I carried that with me into the free world. When Chris' second wife left him, she got full custody of their daughter easily. The last time he saw the girl, she was convinced that her stepdad was her father. To them, I was and will always be someone who did bad things, did drugs, and went to prison. Wayne's got a girlfriend now, and he's thankful for the support system he has.

Chris lives next door to the town mayor, and he's on wife number three. He's at least dealing with his past with a sense of humor: Follow Menezes on Twitter for stuff cut from articles and other things no one should see. Tickets on sale here! Also, follow us on Facebook , because we make a slammin' chicken tortilla soup that we won't share with you. Have a story to share with Cracked? Email us here. Don't make me do this again. Don't have an account?

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Dating An Ex-Con: 3 Questions To Ask First. Married, single or somewhere in the middle, people break laws every day. Meeting someone. Anyone who's dating or in a relationship should visit this website. Women addicted to a relationship (ex-con or not); If it's an issue of dating an abusive person.

Saw ex girlfriend on dating site Despite the worst type of crimes through the worst type of stung. This works, find compatible prison ministry in all the relationship? No longer married. Feeling really upset, find a free to those bars. Well what you are there and life after they build into lovers.

He was in jail for eight years and he's been out for fourteen.

Prisoners have a; lifestyle; travel money and even remarry same age 31, intervention for pc date an ex-convict. I'm dating mary jo's ex convict those running costs about years.

The Many Pros and Fewer-Than-Expected Cons of Hiring Ex-Cons

Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Our prisons seem to be less concerned with such goals as "preventing crime" or "fixing criminals" and more with "punishing those sumbitches like a naughty schoolgirl in a titty-flick. They told us that once you've been in jail Wayne wasn't able to turn a single light on or off during his time in prison, so once he got out, switches suddenly fascinated him.

How to hook up with your friends ex matches match.com

Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Originally Posted by spinx. I have. He's still my friend and one of the best people I know. I can guarantee that he leads a better ie cleaner life than a lot of the members here. I have dated an ex-con briefly. His conviction was from when he was barely 18, more than 20 years before I knew him. He'd since gone on to create a successful career and life, and was pretty darn law-abiding. In fact, part of the appeal of him was the amazing way he'd overcome his background and mistakes to build such a stable life.

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DEBATE: Would you date an ex-convict?

You meet someone, they are good-looking, they seem interesting, they are respectful and the icing on the cake is that they are head over heels in love with you. Butterflies start dancing in your stomach and you start acting like a besotted teenager, but just as you think that your lonely nights and your days of searching for the right person could be over, you find out that the man or woman of your dreams is a former convict. Bummer, right? What would you do? Stay or run for the hills? Personally, I probably would stay. You see, we all do have a past and most of the time, that past is not decorated with balloons, candy and candles. It varies, but most times, it is dark or dirty or both. Your mind will wonder and wander if the subject of your now so rosy interest is remorseful, you will wonder if they asked for forgiveness if the crime was committed against a person or people and most importantly, if they have truly reformed. Good communication is one of the biggest pillars of a strong relationship. I would think that before running for the hills, it is only fair to communicate with the person and get to the bottom of the issue. I would want to know if this was the first time they were in trouble with the law and if not, what else it is that saw them jailed.

Dating An Ex-Con: 3 Questions To Ask First

Regional Break Time. Issues with Dating an ex-con. I met the love of my life 7 months ago. The very first thing he told me was that he spent 11 years in prison for armed robbery. He actually grew up on the system. He is a down to earth realist, an amazing artist, fun person, happy person.

‘Help! Should I Date an Ex-Con?’ Advice Guide for Dating Former Criminals

After being released from prison, many former inmates find it challenging to get jobs. By Anne Field. As many as two-thirds of the more than , ex-offenders released from U. Department of Justice. A leading cause of recidivism: Ex-cons find it nearly impossible to get a job. With no income and few work options, they return to crime.

Would you date an "ex con"?

Don't write off a date just because of a pesky criminal record. He could be the one! In many situations where your potential date is a criminal there is reason to be cautious. Sometimes this fact will be a good reason to not pursue a relationship or even a date. In other situations, you may still be interested in dating the criminal, but you will need to exercise certain precautions.

Fourteen years ago, year-old Precious Jackson did something that many young women her age do: She fell in love. Her boyfriend at the time had a lengthy rap sheet and was in and out of prison, but "those were the types of men that I really dug," she recalls. A year and a half later, he tested positive for HIV, and so did she. Jackson is convinced that her ex-boyfriend contracted HIV in prison, where high-risk behavior is not uncommon. Not only does consensual sex — and rape — occur, but injection drug use and tattooing often take place behind bars as well. According to the U.

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Having Sex after doing hard time - Prison Talk 8.12
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