Dating but hes still online

Being in a brand-new relationship comes with so many awesome benefits: But thanks to modern dating, there's a pretty good chance you met your new boo on one of the dozens of dating apps out there, which leaves one serious question looming over both of you: According to a recent online survey by ReportLinker , six percent of people who are in a relationship are still registered on dating apps. While that percentage might seem small, it's nonetheless a reminder that dating apps have complicated things for singles trying to find love. When you get so used to swiping — on your morning commute, during your lunch break, at the gym — it can be hard to think of it as something other than a game or procrastination tool. While there's nothing wrong with using dating apps as a form of entertainment, it gets tricky when you meet someone you actually click with.

Stalking Your New Date Is Never a Smart Idea

I still do it. I would guess a lot of people have. In both cases, several months into the relationships something started to feel weird—less communication, more excuses why they were busy, etc. I tried subtly to find out what was going on without having one of those big where-do-we-stand conversations. I was assured everything was fine, they were just busy with work, etc.

Still my gut told me something was wrong. I always listen to my intuition. In one instance, I just let the relationship fade without confronting him about it. In the other case, I did confront him about it. His initial response was to accuse me of spying on him and showing a lack of trust for him. And my suspicions were validated—way to deflect the conversation from what was essentially him cheating to me being distrustful! Never mind that I had every reason to be!

If we had been just casually dating, I probably would have kept mum and let it play out—he might have found out he preferred my company anyway. But since we had been sleeping together and discussing holiday plans, etc. Maybe he looks at my profile every night and thinks the same thing, making it self-perpetuating. I guess someone has to break the cycle at some point and risk being hurt.

What I do know is the next time a man tells me he wants to be exclusive and is no longer active online, I need advice about how to proceed. Do I trust him and risk STDs, etc. Do I secretly keep checking on him and confront him if I see activity? Do I trust him and only spy if something feels not right with the relationship? Am I naive to take a man at his word, given the statistics on infidelity? Am I just a typical once-burned-twice-shy woman who needs therapy for trust issues LOL?

I had the same experience he told me i was he really liked me and the next time he came over he asked me if i wanted to be his gf then a few days later i didnt hear from him now i dont understand you need to spie on your man and see whats he is up to because if you want a relationship to work out you have to be on your guard with your man. Nadia 2. In online dating you would be a fool to trust a man period. I have trusted men in the past and have that feeling something is not right…. So when that happens hell yeah I check online dating sites to see if they still on….

I had latest tell me he was in love with me …. Next time he told me the love business I told him I saw him online. Yeah right. This behavior kept going …. I told him I was done. He said online he was 58….. Girl you right on…. Give me a break when it come to men doing this. Amen Jack. You hit the nail on the head. Online dating is killing traditional romance. My ability to trust anyone has been almost destroyed.

Good luck to you.. Lol, I so needed this today. So I createc a fake email account and responded to his CL personal ad. He told her so many lies in his replies to her, even went so far as to say his dad passed. I love it! Good on u. I did the same years ago. He denied he dated someone recently.. Which was me! Why would they feel the need to check it out if they are in an exclusive relationship? Why not just delete the email they get? Is it a man thing that they need to feel like they are still available even though they say they are committed?

Seriously the male mind works differently and yes I do believe some men, ya some, can be trusted and just go on the sites bc they get an email so they have to check because it makes them feel good about themselves that they still look good and woman want them, yet they take it no further…. My bf and I live together. We laugh and have a blast.

I chose not to check my emails. Unfortunately ladies it comes down to trust. I mean really…why would you want to be in an untrusting relationship…. We met the old fashioned way….. I just wanted to add that I think men and women are on dating sites for one reason: Once you are with someone else in a mutually agreed upon exclusive relationship, you need to take your profile down.

There are plenty of other ways to be pen pals, to post on forums, etc. Not up for discussion. Their attention should be on you! Post 1: I agree totally. FWIW, its not spying if it is public information. Either the person with the profile still up is doing something wrong and is really BAD at it or they see it as up-and-up. Im very confused however, met a man on line July 16, within 2 weeks he said I love you.

Last night I met his daughter for the first time. Last week he was on his phone and I noticed an email from Okcupid, so a couple of days ago I downloaded the app and there he was, active as well. I feel very disappointed now and confused. I have not been in an exclusive relationship yet. But If that came up I would take my profile down. If I am dating I do see the person I am talking and emailing with online, but I leave them alone. I am also checking my emails and so why get upset about.

Sometimes it is good to check as it is an indication if someone has been online and is not answering you back anymore that I can move on. Of course I look. I did end a relationship once because he told me he was not on the site but it just so happened I was looking right at his profile. I ended it because he lied. However, when I am interested in someone, I have noticed my enthusiasm for the whole process does wane and I end up not checking my message box as frequently.

I would hope he would feel the same. The idea that the other women would just pale in comparison sounds like a good deal to me! Spying is a loaded word when it comes to looking at a website! Regarding your questions at the end, I believe intuition is a powerful thing. You had a feeling about both of those guys and you were able to go online and have your suspicions confirmed.

I get it, I just think its to our detriment. So if you subscribe to that, nothing to worry about. Plus, I think people who have trust issues know it. Are you always uneasy? Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop? Then you may have some trust issues. I rambled a bit, hope that made sense. Being on a dating site says to the world, I am still available and looking. I have run into this problem, where I was unable to delete my info from the site, which I felt was very unfair and would not use that site again nor recommend it to anyone.

Every time I would note that I was no longer looking, they actually would go in and remove that statement. Sad but oh so true, so watch out on what sites you use and their membership requirements as to when you are able to remove profiles. Around a year ago, about 2 months after I started dating someone I met online, I took my profile off. I did this only because I needed a break from the charges of it.

I had a child starting college that fall and wanted to save money.

If the person you're dating reveals that they still have an active Scenario 3: You' re putting a lot into the relationship but he's still using the app. Every now and then, you come across the online dating profile of someone He's not that into you if he's still looking at other women online.

Jess Downey Last updated: October 25, Date and Dateless by Instant Vantage on Flickr.

We started seeing each other initially as friends — we have a lot of shared interests — and then one day he jumped on me and the relationship became increasingly physical.

So, you met him online. Good for you. Here comes the hard part:

The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do?

Contact Press Call Today Is your man still online dating? Find out why in this post and what you need to know to handle the situation. You met a great guy and things seem to be going well. Most weeks you seem him more than once and he stays in touch by texting and calling.

Why Is He Still Online Dating If He Really Likes You?

Dating websites have come a long way from the time they were the only recourse of nerds or other socially awkward people looking for a date. So it is quite likely that you may have met a wonderful guy on a dating site and hit off equally well in real life. Just when you thought things were rolling along merrily, you happen to browse the same or another dating site and find his profile still active. Under such a situation it is only natural for you to wonder why if he likes you so much, is he still on dating sites. Or, in other words, when to stop going out with anyone else. At such times you have a strong desire to be with this person and no one else — if lucky, your date feels the same way about you too and things naturally progress to an exclusive dating. However since every dating equation involves two variables as human hearts, having the same exact view about the current status of a relationship is unlikely. So while you may have assumed that you were in or at the very least moving towards an exclusive relationship, your partner probably feels otherwise. If his dating profile is still active, it indicates that he is still not ready to make things exclusive between you two and wants to keep things more casual. Look at your relationship objectively and if you see that you are still getting to know each other, it may not be so strange for your boyfriend to be on a dating site.

Before we had the world at our fingertips and we were separated by thousands of miles, we truly had no idea what was out there, and whether we were getting a good deal. Yes there are honest people who date online and there are success stories, but online dating is the home of many people that have an allergic reaction to being truthful.

Posted by: You decided to meet and on your first date things go great. Generally everything feels wonderful. However there is one problem:

Online Dating Blog

However, he still goes on match. Is this guy bad news or should I just relax and be fine with the fact that he still logs on to match. As such, some of the comments which I have preserved bring up points that I have since addressed in this revision. Right off the top, you mentioned that you and he have agreed to be exclusive. How clear was his side of the agreement to being committed? If I were in your shoes, I would say something along the lines of: If he says yes, I would go on to say: But then I saw you kept logging in…. Life is complicated and the heart wants what the heart wants. If this is a misunderstanding, explain it to me. You rarely see me do that. However, in this case, I feel that the conversation points I laid out above do more to instruct than even my explaining of my viewpoint would have….

5 Reasons Why His Online Dating Profile Is Still Active

I still do it. I would guess a lot of people have. In both cases, several months into the relationships something started to feel weird—less communication, more excuses why they were busy, etc. I tried subtly to find out what was going on without having one of those big where-do-we-stand conversations. I was assured everything was fine, they were just busy with work, etc.

When He Can’t Stop Shopping Around Online

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. Actions speak louder than words and She should reconsider this person. If she really likes this guy, then she needs a reality check. He isn't into her, and that is the sad fact of the matter.

Ask a Guy: We’re Dating, But He Still Checks

The first was when I was 20 and lasted seven months and the other was a on-and-off disaster that ended a few months ago. At the encouragement of my friends. I entered the world of online dating. Until now. Somehow the first person I decided to have a conversation during my most recent fory turned into a good date, and now a good series of dates. Yesterday out of boredom I signed onto the dating site where I met for the first time in a long time. We have never had a talk about exclusivity, so this is all fair game.

When To Delete Your Dating Apps If You're Seeing Someone

Not clarifying the exact terms of a relationship sometimes leads to confusion between the partners. Share with him your expectations for the relationship. Hearing that you are serious about the relationship, he may very well delete the other profile and be committed to you — and only you. Communication is the key that unlocks the door to confusion and misunderstandings. I would confront him about his other profile, and try — as hard as it may be — to hear his reason for being active on this site, even after being with you. The conversation could begin with you initiating:


Why is he on dating sites?
Related publications