Dating a girl with cerebral palsy
Last Friday, my girlfriend Laura and I went to Open Stage, a club in Coral Gables, Florida, to meet some of our high school classmates for a fun-filled evening of karaoke and drinks. Unlike our first karaoke night back in October, the turnout was small; when we got to the club, we found out that it was just us and Anita, the organizer of the event. Maybe it was because the event was held on a Friday night and it was hard for many of the invitees to go to a club for drinks and singing almost right after work. Or maybe it was because another classmate had scheduled a disco dancing get-together in Doral that same night. Maybe it was because my mom never treated me as if my CP was the sole factor that defined me as a child.
Tips to Make Dating with Cerebral Palsy Less Intimidating
It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation! There was a problem adding your email Try again. All rights reserved. Do not copy or redistribute in any form! Subscribe To Cerebral Palsy. I hope this isn't insensitive. If it is it is from ignorance not intention. I am a 30 year old man re-entering the dating world after my marriage dissolved.
Last night I had a first date with a 25 year old woman with cp. It was my first exposure to cp. To be honest before last night I thought cp was down's syndrome. Now I know it is completely different. My date was very attractive, intelligent, funny, and I had a lot of fun with her. One of the best first dates I have had. So why am I writing this? I don't know if I want to go out with her again. Her cp is mild. I met her at the restaurant and didn't know until she told me.
After she told me I think I picked up on a few things that I think were related. She has a limp from her right leg, otherwise no other physical impairments. After a light dinner and a chance to chat we went rock climbing together. One of the first things you do when learning rock climbing is to be trained to tie the rope to your harness. She had a lot of difficulty learning this. She became very frustrated and agitated.
That really bothered me. Tying the rope is not very difficult, and the agitation was uncalled for. I believe she has some type of learning disability. Despite the learning disability I believe she is intelligent. The way she talks and how she writes shows me that she is educated. How common is it to have learning disabilities because of cp? Does frustration lead from it? The other thing that bothered me is she has never worked. She is smart, she lives alone so she must be fairly independent, and she is physically capable.
So why wouldn't she work? Is this from the frustration thing? I am into independent career women that are with me because they want to be. I don't want somebody that I have to take care of and support. I am afraid a long term relationship with this woman would require me to take care of her and support her. Am I being superficial? Is the problem just that I don't understand cp well enough? Any comments or suggestions? Hi, You sound as if you are thinking of proposing marriage not comtemplating another date.
If you really do like this girl give her a chance, since when did dating have to become serious after the first date. Of course don't string her along!! On the other questions, yes cp can cause intellectual impairments, not always but in some cases. Comprehension difficulties are common. And yes fine motor skills like tying knots or writing with a pen can be very challenging for someone with cp and it could be a very frustrating experience.
Can you imagine knowing how to do something but not physically able to do it? My son is only 3 but already I can see this happening in certain activities he tries to undertake. I wish you well. Remember, tying the rope may not be difficult for you, but it may be for her. I don't think the agitation was uncalled for at all. I would suggest asking yourself how many times in a day or a week do you get frustrated when the little things you do don't go to plan.
For example buttoning up a shirt and you realise you've made a mistake, sorting out a tie knot so it looks the way you want it too. Does that mean that you have a learning impairment? Could it be that she was nervous as it was a first date? If you enjoyed this ladies company stay focussed on the positives, Im sure we can all find faults in each other if we look.
As for finding out more about CP try talking to your date. She will be the best person to explain how her CP effects her ability to do things. For what its worth just enjoy getting to know her, without looking too deeply at the CP or the future. I think it would help if you looked at it for what it is Understanding how the brain works will help you understand your date's reaction to frustration.
When a person has CP, it is because there was an injury to the brain. Where the injury occurs determines what abilities 'might' be compromised. My daughter, now 14, was born 3 months premature. She had a severe brain hemorrhage shortly after birth. The DRs couldn't tell us for sure what would be affected, but told us what to watch for based on the location of the bleed.
Maggie lucked out. However, she does walk with an obvious CP gait. So physically she is affected. No lie. She has never studied for a spelling test in her life. She has the ability to memorize chapter books, tens of pages, word for word. She's made a lot of money! At age 14 she still has difficulty telling time, adding money, or making change. In 8th grade she is working at about a second grade math level. So yes, Maggie has a learning disability and is very intelligent.
Just in different areas. The things that the left side of the brain controls are not affected. The things that the right side of the brain controls are. Maggie also suffers from Executive Function Impairment. It sounds like your date most likely suffers from this too. The Executive Function is the part of your brain that regulates decision making, planning, initiative, motor control, emotional regulation, inhibition, problem solving, planning, impulse control, self-correcting, etc.
This could be why your date is not able to work. And if she does have some degree of Executive Function Impairment, that will only compound her frustration. It takes a lot of patience and understanding to choose a relationship with someone with a disability. Hope this helps. Sorry it was so long! Hi - I have a 23 year old son with mild CP. He's got the greatest sense of humor, is very intelligent and builds computers. His CP is also from being born 3 months early and having a brain hemorrhage.
I'd have to wonder if your date was embarassed at the difficulty she had tying the rope. I give her huge points for the willingness and gumption to try such an experience that was probably foreign to her and to work hard at tying that rope. She sounds like a jewel to me. I can understand your reluctance to commit to a lifetime of helping and supporting someone after a first date.
May I please say, "Get real"?
Sure, if she was really cool. I'm not going to lie, it wouldn't be ideal, but it's not something I couldn't look beyond for the right person. How can someone date you if you have CP? Easy, the same way you can date someone who's blind, deaf, or anything else 'different' about them. You find.
Like many things not someone treats her, a date, treatment jan. But dating life with cerebral palsy, just depends on tinder. Certainly my mind, girl with mild cp.
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Does Cerebral Palsy Interfere with Finding Love?
As we become more aware of appearance and body image , it can be tough to be in a wheelchair or to have people tease you about the way you walk. But lots of teens with CP don't let it hold them back. They do just what everyone else does. Normally, the brain tells the rest of the body exactly what to do and when to do it. Because of how CP affects the brain, a person might not be able to walk, talk, eat, or move the way most people do.
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Dating someone with cerebral palsy
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Dating a girl with mild cerebral palsy
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Disabled dating on Tinder: ‘People ask if I can have sex’
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Finding My Fish in the Sea: Online Dating With Cerebral Palsy
Three years ago, I had a very abstract view on love. I was born with a neurological disorder called cerebral palsy. It greatly affects my ability to talk and walk. Therefore, I struggled with having guys underestimate me. I would get the same response every time.
Dating, Self-Confidence, and CP
Custom Search. Dating a girl with mild cerebral palsy. I believe christian lyrics. Jan 28, Dating , Self-Confidence, and CP I was even precocious about girls ; in third grade I was gutsy enough to tell one of myDating Coach Helps Man w/ Cerebral Palsy Meet Women